Relationships and HIV/AIDS


For those looking to start a relationship, there are a number of good HIV+ dating websites:

Poz Personals:
Positive Singles:
Poz Match:

For the MSM population, the library has a documentary on the subject of online “cruising,” Hooked. You can read about the movie:

Or come down to the library and check it out yourself.


For people in relationships in which both partner is positive, it’s important to recognize that safer sex is still important. Project Inform has a good webpage of info about re-infection

That page is also available in Spanish:

For people in relationships in which only one partner is positive, see the section “Serodiscordancy,” just below. The first link there includes the answers to most questions about safer sex in these situations.

The library has many books with information about safer sex. Here are just a few that may be of interest:

  • The Ins and Outs of Gay Sex (with a section on STDs)
  • Love and Sex After 60 (with a section on “Practical strategies for finding new relationships and solving sexual problems”)
  • Hot Living: Erotic Stories About Safer Sex


A big issue in relationships and dating can be serodiscordancy – when one person is positive and the other negative.

The Body publishes a series of FAQs on Mixed-Status relationships with sections on Disclosure, Testing, Safer Sex, Having Children, and more:

The Body also published a forum on Mixed-Status relationships, which is actually no longer active, but which has archived expert answers on such useful topics as “Guilt and Fear of Infecting a Partner,” “I Am HIV Positive and My Partner Won’t Get Tested,” and “One or Both of Us Are Positive and We Want to Have a Baby.” Check out the full list:

The UCSF Center for AIDS Prevention Studies has published a presentation on “The Management of HIV, Sex, and Risk Among HIV Serodiscordant Heterosexual Couple.” It summarizes a study of trends and might be interesting for those who work with clients dealing with serodicordancy issues. It’s available online:

The World Health Organization has published a study, “Gender Dimensions of HIV Status Disclosure to Sexual Health Partners: Rates, Barriers, Outcomes,” which may also be a good resource for those of us working with clients in discordant relationships who may not have told their partner their status. It also has a large annotated bibliography, for further resources. It can be downloaded here:

The library has a graphic novel (also known as a comic book) about a serodiscordant couple, Blue Pills, and a book called Couples of Mixed HIV Status: Clinical Issues and Interventions.

We also have a documentary about two serodiscordant couples (one homosexual, one heterosexual), One+One, which you can read about and watch a clip of here:

Come to the library and check any of these out yourself.


Making former partners aware of HIV status can be a challenge. Folks can do this anonymously through the website InSpot:

Those working with clients dealing with notifying former partners might want to read the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s report, “HIV Partner Counseling and Referral Services – Guidance.” It can be downloaded as a PDF, here:

[**I should add that any FIGHT staff member who doesn’t feel comfortable with downloading or with using Adobe Acrobat to read PDFs should let me know. I’ll be glad to show you how to do this.**]


Personal stories may be inspiring for clients dealing with relationship issues.

Online, clients can read an older man’s moving biographical sketch about his experiences with relationships and HIV:

Or an interview with a 16 year-old girl who was born positive, talking about dating and HIV:

The library has a film about women dealing with HIV and relationship 
issues (among other things), All of Us

You can follow that link to learn more about the movie, or come down to the library and check it out.

The library has a novel, Tweeds, about “both telling and loving a man with AIDS.” Recommend it to someone, or come down and check it out yourself.

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